I Bloggerified the news section of the Simpsons page so if you're in to the whole "RSS" thing, rest assured you can get news about the simpsons IN REAL TIME because there's nothing more important than that

Calling all 24 fans, dittoheads, and Mary Lynn Raskjub stalkers

Have I got the wallpaper for you

Mallard Fillmore Watch

I think it's a testament to Bruce Tinsley's skill that in a sex scandal involving a Republican congressman and the subsequent cover-up by top Republican officials, he can still manage to wring out a Clinton joke.

OK, I know it must be difficult to find humor in the Mark Foley sex scandal in a way acceptable to the conservative sensibilities of G-rated family newspapers, but I'm feeling kind of grouchy today so I'm just going to nitpick.

• I know it's the setup to the punchline, but it's not just prominent Democrats doing the criticizing
• The Monica Lewinsky affair was between two consenting adults, not a pedophile and minors
• There's a weird emphasis on "still," as if everything should have been settled now and we should move onto more important topics (which, if last week's comics are any indication, include exposing the hypocrisy of fictional liberal strawman characters)
• Now having giving the Foley scandal lip service (hey, I'm up to date on current events! I'm relevant!), he can move back into his comfort zone and make more Clinton jokes (such as today's strip). I eagerly anticipate next week's story arc, in which intrepid reporter Mallard Fillmore exposes that the North Korea situation is somehow entirely the fault of an administration that's been out of office for almost six years
• Speaking of which, Mallard Fillmore must not be a very good reporter if all the news he reports is from 2-3 weeks ago
• Jesus Christ, just look at that caricature, man

• Read this cuz it's funny

• I saw The Black Dahlia. If anyone can explain to me what happened, please contact me.

• I got a new shoutbox that hopefully won't randomly delete a bunch of posts. It's gettin pretty web 2.0 up in hurr

• WOXY.com is pretty rockin'

• Mistakes were made.

Mallard Fillmore Watch

This is just bizarre

A Haiku for John McCain

why didn’t you do more to put habib marwan and turkish crimson jihad out of business when you were president

OK, let’s just go through that.

do you think you did enough, sir?

No, because I didn’t get him.

right

But at least I tried. That’s the difference in me and some, including all the right-wingers who are attacking me now. They ridiculed me for trying. They had eighteen months to try. They did not try. I tried.

So I tried and failed. When I failed, I left a comprehensive anti-terror strategy and the best counter-terrorist agency in the country.

mr. president thank you for one of the more unusual interviews

Fuck off.

7:59:57
7:59:58
7:59:59
8:00:00

BEST LAST WORDS EVER

Let’s do it, man. Lock and load. Ain’t life a [expletive deleted]?

Last words of G.W. Green, a convicted murderer

MOST DEPRESSING LAST WORDS EVER

Cathy -- don't come in.

Call your mother, she will know what to do.

Love

Daddy

Cathy don't go in the bedroom.

Postscript to a suicide note by a 45-year old married man