Rubber Cat Productions

Haha uhhh hey man haha hey uh wouldn't it be hilarious if uh intstead of Christmas and all that we maybe celebrate "Festivus" haha it will be funny you know just like in that show Seinfeld haha didchever see that episode??? Haha it was hilarious you oughta see it one of these days haha its pretty funny I think they still show it in syndication or something haha anyway we can get an aluminum pole and it can be our little "Festivus Pole" haha its like the Festivus equivalent of a Christmas tree haha and then we'll have our Festivus dinner haha I'll cook up some meatloaf haha little "comfort food" for ourselves haha and then we'll have the "airing of grievances" haha just like that part in the episode and then the feats of strength and we're going to fight but not too hard okay haha my back is a little sore haha oh man I can't wait it'll be hilarious this will be the best Festivus ever haha

On Google's blog they posted a heartwarming message from Santa himself, along with his e-mail address, so I sent him a message.

OH NO WATCH OUT MALLARD FILLMORE THE P.C. POLICE ARE GOING TO ARREST YOU FOR TALKING ABOUT JESUS

• 12 new Hog & Dogs just in time for Boxing Day!!!
  
• Jack in the Box has pretty good shakes, just a little "fast food fyi" for you
  
• I had a dream about Star Trek that featured the "Baby on Board" song from the barbershop episode of The Simpsons a couple nights ago. I wonder if it means anything. I don't even watch Star Trek.

Okay so I'm working on a slight redesign for this page and the little things are really cheesing me off but nevertheless it should be done by like January or something. Here is an impression of Drew Carey performing a Hoedown on the show "Whose Line Is It Anyway?". One of the headlines at "Happy News" (Real News! Compelling Stories! Always Positive!) is "World's Largest Chanukah Menorah to be lit on Christmas Day". Vampire Joe McCarthy sure does seem angry about something! My favorite word of the week is "hornswaggled" but I'm not entirely positive that it's actually a word.

Jesus Christ Time magazine is such a pussy

"Oh no we'd better not offend anyone this time around let's just slap Bono up on there vv"

• Yeah, I changed the masthead at the top. The question is, what are you going to do about it?!

• As a follow-up to this post, I got another spam message, only this time it appears to be a short story

• Please do not look at this page; it is still under construction!!!

An Open Letter To Whoever Keeps Calling Me

NO VIOLET IS NOT HERE FOR THE LAST TIME YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER STOP CALLING ME

• Headlines I Would Write If I Were A Movie Critic For The Entertainment Section of a Newspaper
• The sky was ORANGE last night and nobody believes me when I tell them but I swear it's true
• take a byte out of cybercrime™