Listen, I know you're a busy person. I know you've got things you gotta do, and you don't have time to read the funny pages. You probably missed yesterday's comics, didn't you? Well luckily for you, I am here to fill you in on what you missed.

• Billy from The Family Circus doesn't like trying on clothes
• Ziggy's cat won't poop in the catbox
• Marmaduke got annoyed by a mouse
• Fred Basset stared at his owner for five panels and then got a scrap of food
• The Born Loser's boss doesn't think highly of The Born Loser
• Sarge beat up Beetle Bailey to a pulp, then he made a meta-joke
• Dagwood avoided chores
• Garfield sat in a pool (I thought cats hated water???) and a mouse bounced off him
• Dilbert won't answer the phone
• A blank-faced Nancy read a blank book
• Linus ran to his house, found a large envelope, put his security blanket in it, addressed the envelope, put a stamp on it, ran to a mailbox, dropped it in, and then ran back to Charlie Brown, who I guess had just remained standing there the whole time