Back in February, I discovered the “FunkyWatch” feature at ComicsAlliance, which is essentially just a guy describing depressing installments Funky Winkerbean. It’s one of the funniest things on the internet:
I will admit, I laugh out loud every time I read this one. It’s just so far over the top: Funky’s life sucks so bad that he has fewer options than a man with Alzheimer’s who was just brought to an assisted living facility. He is actually jealous of a man who can slip away quietly on the slow road to death, forgetting all his troubles as others take care of him. That would be a positive step for him.
I was a little dismayed last month when Aol quietly killed off ComicsAlliance (presumably because it wasn’t called HuffPo Comics). But don’t despair! I looked at the site just now and apparently for the past week they’ve been posting cryptic comic panels hinting at some sort of resurrection (I forgot comic book deaths are never permanent). So, here’s hoping for more FunkyWatch. And other stuff, too.
4:22 pm: Dugan has brought a few tricks from her advanced research group. First up, authentication. It is so irritating that only about half of people protect their devices.
After 40 years of innovation, we are still authenticating the same way. (Bad passwords, etc.)
Near-term solutions are tokens or fobs with NFC. Another option is an electronic tattoo. “Everybody is interested in wearables. I’m profoundly interested in wearables.”
Dugan is wearing an electronic tattoo from a company called MC10. “What we plan to do is work with them to advance a tattoo.”
Some 10 to 20 year olds may not want to wear a watch, but they would wear a tattoo, if only to piss off their parents.
4:25 pm: Another option is vitamin authentication — a pill with a small chip and a switch. It is powered by a battery charged by the acids in your stomach creating an electronic switch. Your entire body becomes your authentication token.
Yahoo! still has sharing buttons for del.icio.us, (a product it hasn’t owned since 2011 and has been known as “Delicious” since 2007), Digg (which relaunched last year and doesn’t let you add details to submitted links anymore), and Yahoo! Buzz (which no longer exists).
As an aside, why has the GOP’s youth outreach/social media team failed to capitalize on the Epic Randomness and Viral Meme Potential of Ronald Reagan co-starring in a movie with a chimp? They should own it, and upload a bunch of Bedtime for Bonzo gifs to Tumblr or something. Hashtag winning hashtag yolo hashtag paulryan2016
Check out Progressive Insurance’s latest commercial, featuring Flo running for class president back in 1986, which means she was born sometime in the 1970s:
There’s just one itty bitty problem. Last year, Flo herself claimed to have not gone outside since 1926. That means she had to have been born sometime before then, and is possibly immortal. Check it out for yourself at 3:25 in this Google+ Hangout video:
As Albus Dumbledore would say, “the evidence is incontrovertible.” The commercial CLEARLY contradicts the continuity of the Hangout.
Nice try, Progressive, but your misguided attempt to pull the wool over our eyes has failed. This glaring continuity error is a slap in the face to your audience. You obviously do not respect canon, and therefore do not deserve our business. In order to redeem yourselves, I see only two options: re-editing the commercial to adhere to established Flo canon (if that’s even possible at this stage), or removing the commercial altogether.
A while ago, I was looking at the original version of Tech News Rumor Insider and noticed that, according to the archives, the site started in June 1998 (coincidentally, the same year rubbercat.net/simpsons launched). Since that means the fifteenth anniversary is coming up, we’ll be commemorating the occasion by reposting highlights from the site’s extensive archives. You’ll be able to find them all under the “TNRI15” tag.