"What If I'm Gay"
-Milhouse Van Houten, A Milhouse Divided
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"Simpson!
Homer Simpson! He was the best man in history. ! Springfield City! This
man is attacked by chestnut trees!
-Homer
Simpson, "Margie opposed to the
monorail"
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"Last
night's "itchy and scratchy show" None
Mistrust is the worst episode ever. Relieved, I A few minutes on the
Internet, I registered
Worldwide revulsion."
-Comic
Book Guy, "Itchy Scratchy Poochie
Show"
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"Inexplicably,
the mayor then leaned toward a comely MoveOn organizer and whispered in
her ear, 'Ah, if anyone asks, you're my niece from out of town and you
don't get SCHIP.'
'But Uncle
Joe, I am your niece from out of town, and I do get SCHIP.'
'Good Lord,
I'm a monster!' exclaimed the mayor."
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"The pig of
the spider, pig of the spider, does what a pig does of the spider."
-Homer
Simpson, The Simpsons Movie
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"I have
christened the largest of the possums Bitey."
-Homer Simpson, "Monorail Episode"
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-Homer Simpson, "Missionary: Impossible"
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-Homer Simpson, "Good Night"
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"I'm failing
English? That's highly improbable!"
-Ralph Wiggum, "Lisa on Ice"
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"The goggles
are doing nothing"
-McBain, "Radioactive Man"
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-Bart, "Bart Gets An F"
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A Family Company
It's groin-grabbingly good!
Our Servers Are Now Asbestos-Free!
Now With The <div> Tag!
A Valued Member of the Press
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All About Ling (Series Finale)
On
her first birthday, Ling (Selma's adopted baby from China) convinces
Maggie, The One-Eyebrowed Baby and the Octuplets to eat dog food so
they can turn into dogs. Margaret Cho guest stars.
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God Save The Campy Drawing of
Queen Victoria
After
they do heroin together, Nelson stabs Lisa to death.
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Carnival For A Friend
Sideshow
Bob kidnaps Bart and the two become best friends. To show his
appreciation, Bob builds Bart a carnival. There's just one problem:
it's full of rakes!
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I Don't Wanna Know Why The Caged
Bird Sings
Marge
befriends a prisoner again.
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The Boils of Blubber
Homer
develops boils on his belly, but is unable to pay Dr. Hibbert to remove
them. Lisa convinces Mayor Quimby to legalize universal healthcare in
Springfield, but things take a turn for the worse when everyone becomes
a Communist! Hillary Clinton guest stars.
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The Simpsons Movie
Homer
dumps pig shit in the river.
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Crook and Haldeman
Richard Nixon and his former chief
of staff H.R. Haldeman move in to the house across
the street from the Simpsons. If they thought Watergate was bad, wait
'til they get a load of Homergate!
Soylent Up
When Buzz Cola releases a new
lemon-lime soda called Buzz Up,
Springfield is abuzz with accolades for the tasty beverage! But will
anyone listen to Lisa when she discovers Buzz Up's secret ingredient?
Ralph Nader guest stars.
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The Lost World: Jurassic Park
Girl defeats raptors with
gymnastics.
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The Ho-Hum Couple
Fifth-tier characters Gil and
Cookie Kwan get married, but nobody cares. Runaway bride Jennifer
Willbanks guest stars.
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NASCAR Racing
Nextel Cup: Coca-Cola 600
Cars spin around in a circle for a
few hours.
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Marge Reclaimer
Marge discovers that Springfield
is actually a simulated reality created by sentient machines in order
to pacify, subdue and make use of the human population as an energy
source.
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Rome-old and Juli-eh
The court appoints an accountant
for Homer when he incorrectly files for bankruptcy, which results in
his cutting back on all of his expenses, including Grampas nursing
home. In an unexpected turn of events, Grampa and Selma fall in love
and move in together, and Homer and Patty plot to break up their love
connection. Meanwhile, Bart and Lisa con a delivery man into giving
them the most sought-after commodity in the neighborhood cardboard
boxes. Their alliance is put to the test when the delivery man realizes
he was duped. I'm not making this one up.
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Yokel Lord
When Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel
takes over the church, the power goes straight to his head as he
appoints himself Official Deity of Springfield! Andy Dick guest stars.
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Big Little Girl
When one of Professor Frink's
crazy adventures backfires, Lisa is suddenly transmorgified into a
22-year old! Will she use her newfound adult powers for good or bad?
Tom Hanks, reprising his role from Big, guest stars.
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Another Goddamn Trilogy of
Stories That Basically Amount To The Simpsons Playing Dress-Up
Continuing the trend of such
fan-favorites as The Simpsons Tell Bible Stories, The
Simpsons Tell Tall Tales and The Simpsons Tell Stories
Involving Water, this episode deals with the Simpsons telling
stories about revenge.
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The Wife Acoustic
Homer takes up the guitar and
becomes an indie rock superstar, much to the chagrin of Marge, who
feels her own musical talents are being neglected.
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Ice Cream for Maggie (With Hair)
Homer's job as ice cream man is
threatened by global warming. Al Gore guest stars.
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I don't know yet
sorry
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The writers have been on strike since 1999.
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Each January, a baby is stolen from a local hospital and taken to the
Fox recording studio to provide Maggie's voice for the year.
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Ironically, after Hank Azaria left the show in 2006, all of his
characters were outsourced to Indian voice actors, except for Apu, who
is now voiced by English film actor Michael Caine.
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The Simpsons do not age. Instead they are trapped in a hellish
existence where they are perpetually the same age for all eternity.
Bart will never graduate from the fourth grade, Lisa will never escape
the confines of Springfield, and Maggie will forever remain mute. They
will never die, but they will never truly live either.
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President Schwarzenegger's voice and appearance are modeled off of
Austrian film star Rainier Wolfcastle.
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The height of Marge's hair has steadily increased with each passing
year. By Season 20, her hair will be 40% taller than it was in Season 1.
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Maggie has been a baby for
one-fifth of a century, just like Generation Y.
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Apu is a clerk at the Kwik-E-Mart.
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Marge has blue hair and Homer had
brown hair, which means Bart, Lisa and Maggie (who are all blond) are
illegitimate.
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Nearly all the characters on the
show have prominent overbites.
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Mr. Burns has continued to play a
supporting role in "The Simpsons" despite having been shot in the
episode "Who Shot Mr. Burns"
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