My cat's breath has a bit of an odor to it because some food molecules from her carnivorous diet have been released into it.
-Ralph Wiggum, Lisa's Rival
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To beer! The remedy, as well as also the antecedent, to all of life's little problems.
-Homer Simpson, Homer vs. Prohibition
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Kind friends, my heart is not set on festivity, nor do necklaces of gold cause any flutter in my sorrowing bosom, nor will I stand up with the maidens of Shelbyville to beat my foot in the mazy dance. Tears have been my meat day and night; ah misery! See my unkempt hair, my tattered dress; are they fit for a princess, a daughter of Homer, or for Springfield which once thought of my father as its captor?
-Lisa Simpson, The Electra Company
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Oh! Take and hide our mother's corpse beneath a pall, and close her gaping wound. [turning to the corpse] Ah! Thy murderers were thine own children.
-Bart Simpson, The Electra Company
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Hi, I'm Phil Hartman. You might remember me from such films as Jingle All The Way and The Brave Little Toaster.
-Phil Hartman, The Thin Red Lion
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Jak sie masz, my name-a also Bort. Very nice. High five
-Bort, Itchy and Scratchy Land
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NO MAN MAY DEFEAT ITCHY, FOR ITCHY IS ALWAYS FOUND WITHIN; TO DEFEAT ITCHY IS TO DEFEAT ONESELF, THE BATTLE NO MAN WINS
-Poochie, UltraScratchy
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"i'ot somecool alfpogs//
?rememberalf?
--> Alfback, pogform"
-Milhouse Van Houten, Soultaker
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"A part of us all, a part of us all, a part of us all, a part of us all, a part of us all, a part of us all, a part of us all, a part of us all, a part of us all, a part of us all, a part of us all, a part of us all, a part of us all, a part of us all."
-Marge Simpson, All My Children
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"Correct me if I'm wrong, Doc, but as far as I can tell, Scott Wilder couldn't have been pregnant."
-Lennie Briscoe, All My Children
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"I was saying boo."
-Hans Moleman, A Star is Burns
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"No TV and no beer make Homer calm & at ease."
-Homer Simpson, Treehouse of Horror V
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"Gentle ham"
-Lenny, Last Exit to Springfield
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"Lisa needs basses"
-Marge Simpson, Last Exit to Springfield
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"What If I'm Gay"
-Milhouse Van Houten, A Milhouse Divided
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"Simpson!
Homer Simpson! He was the best man in history. ! Springfield City! This
man is attacked by chestnut trees!
-Homer
Simpson, "Margie opposed to the
monorail"
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"Last
night's "itchy and scratchy show" None
Mistrust is the worst episode ever. Relieved, I A few minutes on the
Internet, I registered
Worldwide revulsion."
-Comic
Book Guy, "Itchy Scratchy Poochie
Show"
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"Inexplicably,
the mayor then leaned toward a comely MoveOn organizer and whispered in
her ear, 'Ah, if anyone asks, you're my niece from out of town and you
don't get SCHIP.'
'But Uncle
Joe, I am your niece from out of town, and I do get SCHIP.'
'Good Lord,
I'm a monster!' exclaimed the mayor."
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"The pig of
the spider, pig of the spider, does what a pig does of the spider."
-Homer
Simpson, The Simpsons Movie
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"I have
christened the largest of the possums Bitey."
-Homer Simpson, "Monorail Episode"
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-Homer Simpson, "Missionary: Impossible"
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-Homer Simpson, "Good Night"
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"I'm failing
English? That's highly improbable!"
-Ralph Wiggum, "Lisa on Ice"
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"The goggles
are doing nothing"
-McBain, "Radioactive Man"
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-Bart, "Bart Gets An F"
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A Family Company
It's groin-grabbingly good!
Our Servers Are Now Asbestos-Free!
Now With The <div> Tag!
A Valued Member of the Press
America's Favorite Cookie
Cease & Desist Free Since 2003
Celebrating Meaningless Milestones Since 2003
Visit us on the web at rubbercat.net/simpsons
|
TIM TIME
SIMPSONS WRITER TIM LONG IS CROWNED FUNNIEST MAN OF THE CENTURY AND HAS "THE SEX" WITH A BUNCH OF SUPERMODELS WHILE MONEY POURS DOWN FROM THE CEILING OF HIS POSH HOLLYWOOD MANSION
WRITTEN BY: TIM LONG
GUEST STARRING: TIM LONG AS HIMSELF
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TEDDY BEARS' TWITPIC
HOMER SIMSON GET A TWITTER!!! HE TWEETS ALL DAY LONG UNTIL Mr. BURNS FIRE HIM FOR TWEETING ON THE JOB. THEN A THING HAPPENS
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Homer Blackman
Homer and Bart become black men after a freak accident at the plant.
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Human Target
Jay Leno gets the blame for yet another late night debacle.
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Morgan Spurlock's "The Simpsons 20th Anniversary Special: In 3D! On Ice!"
the guy who ate a bunch of hamburgers fellates the simpsons for 90 minutes
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BURNSDAYS WITH MAGGIE
MR BURNS MAKES A NEW DAY OF THE WEEK AND ADOPTS MAGGIE THE BABY WHO TEACHES HIM LIFE LESSONS... A HEARTWARMING TALE OF LOVE & REDEMPTION THIS SUNDAY ON FOX
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O BORTER, WHERE BORT THOU?
WORLDWIDE BORT LICENSE PLATE SHORTAGE LEADS NASA TO SEND AN ASTROMAN TO OUTER REACHES OF ANDROMEDA GALAXY TO EXPLORE AND SEEK OUT EXOTIC NEW NATURAL RESOURCES FROM WHICH TO CREATE BORT LICENSE PLATES
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DEADKNOBS AND DOOMSTICKS
LISA JOINS A CULT.... THE CULT IS CHRISTIANITY... ALSO HOMER BATTLES FOODGOBLINS AFTER BEING TRANSPORTED TO THE DIMENSION OF SNACKS... CHECK IT OUT THIS SUNDAY ON FOX
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Family Guy
Peter falls off a really tall building and his life flashes before his eyes, which consists of an uninterrupted 20 minute string of short skits about pop culture.
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Treehouse of Porno XXX
Two iconic American franchises shred all remaining traces of respectability.
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Bart Gets A Zoo
Bart becomes the host of KBBL's new morning zoo radio show and soon finds himself embroiled in a big prank war with Nelson, the host of a rival zoo. How low will Bart stoop in his never-ending quest for higher ratings? Glenn Beck guest stars.
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Homer the Wapner (Season Premier)
When Homer becomes a judge on The People's Court, the producers try to convince him to exercise capital punishment in order to boost ratings. Can Lisa stop him before he becomes judge, jury and executioner? Judge Judy guest stars.
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Locomotion
In the 15th-season finale, McCoy faces a man (Joseph Lyle Taylor) who insists on being his own defense counsel after he is charged with multiple counts of murder for causing a train derailment.
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Dancing in Homerica
Homer gets a wacky new job as the proprietor of a cafe disco named "Homerica." The rest of the show is just people dancing. Spencer Pratt guest stars.
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Itty Bitty Tanya, Moe
Eyebrows raise to unprecedented levels when Moe starts dating Tanya, a previously-unexplored elementary school student. Roman Polanski guest stars.
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What's My Line, BZ
In yet another flashback episode, Homer recounts his entire life after being accused of cheating on a game show. Wayne Brady guest stars.
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Double Double, Burgin Trouble
homer starts burgin real hard for a double double after hearing about in-n-out's 60th anniversary, so he brings the whole family down to california. unfortunately it's during wildfire season. dennis leary guest stars as a foul-mouthed fireman.
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Savings, Discounts, and Coupon Rebates (Season Premiere)
After helping Marge buy grocerices, Homer becomes a bargain hunter... but when the hunter becomes the hunted, he'll find more than he bargained for. Dan Castalleneta guest stars.
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All About Ling (Series Finale)
On
her first birthday, Ling (Selma's adopted baby from China) convinces
Maggie, The One-Eyebrowed Baby and the Octuplets to eat dog food so
they can turn into dogs. Margaret Cho guest stars.
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God Save The Campy Drawing of
Queen Victoria
After
they do heroin together, Nelson stabs Lisa to death.
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Carnival For A Friend
Sideshow
Bob kidnaps Bart and the two become best friends. To show his
appreciation, Bob builds Bart a carnival. There's just one problem:
it's full of rakes!
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I Don't Wanna Know Why The Caged
Bird Sings
Marge
befriends a prisoner again.
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The Boils of Blubber
Homer
develops boils on his belly, but is unable to pay Dr. Hibbert to remove
them. Lisa convinces Mayor Quimby to legalize universal healthcare in
Springfield, but things take a turn for the worse when everyone becomes
a Communist! Hillary Clinton guest stars.
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The Simpsons Movie
Homer
dumps pig shit in the river.
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Crook and Haldeman
Richard Nixon and his former chief
of staff H.R. Haldeman move in to the house across
the street from the Simpsons. If they thought Watergate was bad, wait
'til they get a load of Homergate!
Soylent Up
When Buzz Cola releases a new
lemon-lime soda called Buzz Up,
Springfield is abuzz with accolades for the tasty beverage! But will
anyone listen to Lisa when she discovers Buzz Up's secret ingredient?
Ralph Nader guest stars.
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The Lost World: Jurassic Park
Girl defeats raptors with
gymnastics.
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The Ho-Hum Couple
Fifth-tier characters Gil and
Cookie Kwan get married, but nobody cares. Runaway bride Jennifer
Willbanks guest stars.
|
NASCAR Racing
Nextel Cup: Coca-Cola 600
Cars spin around in a circle for a
few hours.
|
Marge Reclaimer
Marge discovers that Springfield
is actually a simulated reality created by sentient machines in order
to pacify, subdue and make use of the human population as an energy
source.
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Rome-old and Juli-eh
The court appoints an accountant
for Homer when he incorrectly files for bankruptcy, which results in
his cutting back on all of his expenses, including Grampas nursing
home. In an unexpected turn of events, Grampa and Selma fall in love
and move in together, and Homer and Patty plot to break up their love
connection. Meanwhile, Bart and Lisa con a delivery man into giving
them the most sought-after commodity in the neighborhood cardboard
boxes. Their alliance is put to the test when the delivery man realizes
he was duped. I'm not making this one up.
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Yokel Lord
When Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel
takes over the church, the power goes straight to his head as he
appoints himself Official Deity of Springfield! Andy Dick guest stars.
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Big Little Girl
When one of Professor Frink's
crazy adventures backfires, Lisa is suddenly transmorgified into a
22-year old! Will she use her newfound adult powers for good or bad?
Tom Hanks, reprising his role from Big, guest stars.
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Another Goddamn Trilogy of
Stories That Basically Amount To The Simpsons Playing Dress-Up
Continuing the trend of such
fan-favorites as The Simpsons Tell Bible Stories, The
Simpsons Tell Tall Tales and The Simpsons Tell Stories
Involving Water, this episode deals with the Simpsons telling
stories about revenge.
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The Wife Acoustic
Homer takes up the guitar and
becomes an indie rock superstar, much to the chagrin of Marge, who
feels her own musical talents are being neglected.
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Ice Cream for Maggie (With Hair)
Homer's job as ice cream man is
threatened by global warming. Al Gore guest stars.
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I don't know yet
sorry
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Bart, Lisa, and Maggie are bald.
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Smithers was black in that one episode!!! WTF!!!
|
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You can see Maude Flanders' boobies if you freeze-frame the part where she dies
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Director Nancy Kruse is the only person who is allowed to draw Hans Moleman.
|
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Before joining The Simpsons, composer Alf Clausen was best known for playing the title character of the hit TV show ALF.
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Bart is called "Bort" in all official Simpsons merchandise in order to deter bootleggers.
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Writer John Swartzwelder killed over 30 men during his two tours in Vietnam. He has since been banned from re-entering the country by the Vietnam Board of Tourism.
|
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As a form of protest against the wars, voice actress Julie Kavner has taken a vow of silence, speaking only to record the part of Marge one day a year.
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Three murders have occured in the writers' room, all of which remain unsolved.
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The distinctive "thunk-thunk" sound effect used in between scenes was created by combining close to a dozen sounds, including that of a group of monks stamping on a floor.
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Executive producer Al Jean's Social Security number is 987-65-4327.
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It takes over nine years to produce an episode from start to finish.
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Starting February 15, the show will be filmed in live action.
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Conan O'Brien still writes for the show under the pseudonym "Daniel Chun."
|
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The writers have been on strike since 1999.
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Each January, a baby is stolen from a local hospital and taken to the
Fox recording studio to provide Maggie's voice for the year.
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|
Ironically, after Hank Azaria left the show in 2006, all of his
characters were outsourced to Indian voice actors, except for Apu, who
is now voiced by English film actor Michael Caine.
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The Simpsons do not age. Instead they are trapped in a hellish
existence where they are perpetually the same age for all eternity.
Bart will never graduate from the fourth grade, Lisa will never escape
the confines of Springfield, and Maggie will forever remain mute. They
will never die, but they will never truly live either.
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President Schwarzenegger's voice and appearance are modeled off of
Austrian film star Rainier Wolfcastle.
|
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The height of Marge's hair has steadily increased with each passing
year. By Season 20, her hair will be 40% taller than it was in Season 1.
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Maggie has been a baby for
one-fifth of a century, just like Generation Y.
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Apu is a clerk at the Kwik-E-Mart.
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Marge has blue hair and Homer had
brown hair, which means Bart, Lisa and Maggie (who are all blond) are
illegitimate.
|
|
Nearly all the characters on the
show have prominent overbites.
|
|
Mr. Burns has continued to play a
supporting role in "The Simpsons" despite having been shot in the
episode "Who Shot Mr. Burns"
|
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