Facebook Goons Delete Bill Oakley's Facebook

zuckerbergMark Zuckerberg and his Facebook goons have apparently deleted Bill Oakley's Facebook account, effectively rendering the former Simpsons showrunner and current Portlandia producer a non-person in this hyper-connected age. The crack team at Facebook determined that Oakley was illegally impersonating former Simpsons showrunner and current Portlandia producer Bill Oakley, who is the same person, and swiftly deleted his account. Despite being informed his account will not be reactivated "for any reason," Oakley has taken to the Twitter to bring the issue to as many Facebook employees as possible, as well as popular tech blogs Mashable and the New York Times' Bits blog. In the eyes of this reporter, it is great to see Facebook allocating its resources on protecting little-known TV producers from impersonation instead of focusing on less important issues, like instituting better privacy safeguards.

As someone without a Facebook profile, Bill Oakley is now to be treated as an Untouchable, in accordance with the internet caste system ratified by the United Nations in 2007. Please remember all communication or association with Oakley is strictly forbidden. If you see him walking down the sidewalk, cross the street to the other side as soon as it is safe to do so. If at all possible, avoid looking at him.

[@thatbilloakley on Twitter]