Yes, you heard right. After years of anticipation and speculation, 81-year old former senator Alan K. Simpson and his youthful ward Erskine Bowles have finally announced and released a long-awaited followup to their 2010 megahit, The Simpson-Bowles Plan.
The new plan, Simpson-Bowles 2: Escape from Necron 7, goes even further than the original plan in reducing the nation's deficit. While the original had a semblance of balance between spending cuts and revenue increases, the new plan is much more heavily tilted towards extreme austerity (which mostly involves cuts from Medicare and Medicaid), thanks in large part to the deficit hawkish Simpson, who once called Social Security "a milk cow with 310 million tits."
The plan is also supposed to somehow serve as an "outline for a new grand bargain" between Republicans and Democrats, despite the fact even Bowles thinks the idea of a grand bargain is "at best on life support."
Critics are calling the sequel "lame," "vague," "unbalanced," and "a waste of everyone's time."
In a shocking admission, Kardashian family matriarch Kris Jenner revealed in a new memoir that she could have saved Nicole Brown Simpson, the late wife of former Hertz spokesman OJ Simpson, from her alleged murder had it not been for her meddling kids.
Springfield Alderman Gail Simpson said she was shocked by the apparent suicide of Mayor Tim Davlin, who was found dead in his home last week. An autopsy concluded the mayor had died from a self-inflicted gunshot. [AP via Chicago Tribune]
I realize I'm guilty of making a bunch of lame OJ Simpson jokes on this site. But come on:
O.J. Simpson in "The Simpsons"? An internet parody of The Simpsons featuring O.J. Simpson has infuriated bosses at 20th Century Fox.
The studio has asked online video site Broadcaster.com to take down three animated clips, titled The OJ Simpsons that re-imagine the series with the ex-American footballer.
The clips also parody the opening scene of The Simpsons, with Simpson being chased by several police cars - just like he was chased live TV in the US, after the pair were found dead in Los Angeles in June 1994.
Hey uh that joke's about thirteen years too late guys [The Post Chronicle]
Oh, that Simpson. Sorry, false alarm. [Yahoo! News]