"I know you're trying to dismantle the post office, but do you have to be such an asshole about it?"


"I told you, I don't mind paying an extra 15 cents so these guys can have health insurance! Quit tryin' to interfere!"

"I take it you've seen the latest poll numbers?"

"So I hear y'don't like infrastructure spendin'? Looks like yer gonna hafta test yer 'trickle-down' theory elsewhere, pal."

"I told him to move to the center, but he took a sharp right instead."

"No, we're not going to visit your offshore bank account."

"He's attacking the media again."

"Ah, he'll cheer up once I install his car elevator."

"Had enough mudslinging for one day?"

"Oh, no! He's going to piss all over gay rights!"

"That's him! That's the one who stole my Medicare!"

"He's performing 'God Bless America' again."

"The public is demanding to see your tax returns."

"He's been hanging out with the Tea Party."

"I think he's looking for his conscience."

"He just loves these $50,000 per plate fundraisers."

"I paid fifty grand for THIS crap???"

"Do I think Paul Ryan is sexy, handsome, or good-looking? What kind of poll is this???"

"Well, you're gonna have to start believing in global warming someday."

"He's exhausted from all the flip-flopping he had to do today."

"He's been planning for his war on the middle class."

"Newsweek just called you a wimp."

"Don't you think it's a bit premature to be picking out new furniture for the Oval Office?"

"Careful... it's not your ice cream he's interested in, it's your uterus."

"It's his latest attack ad."

"You're not leaving until you explain how your Massachusetts health care plan is different from Obamacare."

"He thinks it's Rush Limbaugh."

"How are we supposed to pull ourselves up by the bootstraps if you keep eating them?"

"Oh, he's just trying to reconcile your conflicting statements on when you left Bain Capital."

"He's been listening to that Ayn Rand audiobook all day!"

"This is a lousy attempt at pandering!"

"You'll have to wait until after the campaign."

"Ready for your debate with Obama?"