Tacky, Ill-Advised September 11 Film To Be Released In 2026
HOLLYWOOD -- 20th Century Fox, which released the films "Titanic" and "Tora! Tora! Tora!", is already gearing up for the 2026 release of the film "9-11", which will attempt trivialize the tragedy into fluffy popcorn fare.

"We are very confident in our future screenwriter, Jason Cunningham, and his future screenwriting abilities," said a spokesperson for Fox. Cunningham, currently 9, has received class-wide recognition for his essay entitled "My Summer Vacation". Sources close to the writer say that Cunningham will take "certain creative licenses" with the script, such as Osama bin Laden speaking English.

An early outline of the film obtained by the Associated Press reveals that the film will include a tacked-on love story, a dramatic scorepiece by composer John Williams, and a foreign New York cab driver with a wacky accent to provide comic relief. The spokesperson also told reporters that "[20th Century Fox's] special effects department is hard at work to re-create the planes' impact into the towers using the latest state-of-the-art technology." He then added the phrase "never forget."