Here's some incredibly stupid shit Livestock wrote for the website Something Awful. I hope you suffer the same urge to vomit I did when I skimmed these.

Hearts of Spandex: An Internet Writer's Apocalypse (part one) (part two)
Livestock reveals the shocking truth that apparently nerds go to DragonCon. Excellent detective work there, Inspector Point-Out-The-Obvious. You really pulled back the curtain on that one.

Livestock attempts to write in character as a spastic animated .gif of a football player. I wonder how strong the temptation to just fill up the entire article with "HUT HUT HUT" was.

Wrestling with Stupidity
Fuck this, I'm not reading all those words

Welcome to the DynaMars Corporation's Ares Station Update Service
In this one Livestock pretends to be a robot or computer or something, which explains why it sounds more forced and formulaic than usual

The Corn Memoirs
Sorry buddy, but not even a Shmorky drawing is going to make me want to read an entire article about corn and Indiana.

The Delicimorphosis
What if The Metamorphosis was about hot dogs??? Livestock takes a stupid premise and stretches it out to novel legnth.

A Blogostar is Born
Hey, here's a great idea for a comedy website how about linking to a bunch of videos from some boring youtube guy SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT PLAN!!!!

Senior Living
Only half of this article is any good. Try to guess which half.