"Easily the most expendable member of the current writing staff."
-Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka
"I think I've talked to him, like, once? All those chatlogs he posts in his Daily Dirts are imaginary. I'm not sure why he keeps using my name in those things. It's kind of weird. "
-Tom "Moof" Davies
"One time we were at this party together, and he told me he had written a book. I think he was drunk or something, because he kept slurring his speech. Anyway, I asked him what it was about, and he said something about unusual WWII inventions. I told him that by weird coincidence, that was the exact same topic my book was about. Then his eyes got really big, and he mumbled something about how he'd forgetten something in the backseat of his car and hastily made an exit. He never came back. Apparently he'd been going around telling people that he'd authored My Tank Is Fight."
-Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons
"I let him crash at my place for a few weeks. He never took a bath or a shower the whole time he was there. Now I know how he got the nickname 'Livestock.'"
-[Name Withheld]
"I saw him at this convention in Las Vegas last year. He kept calling me 'Bill' and asking what happened to my sunglasses. I told him that was just this character I play on the Internet, but he didn't really seem able to understand that."
-Kevin "Fragmaster" Bowen
"He has this big, life-size cardboard cutout of Captain Janeway from Voyager. It has its own place at the dinner table. I joked that I'm more of a Seven of Nine man, and he stopped talking to me for the remainder of my visit."
- Johnny "DocEvil" Titanium
"He keeps asking me to draw dirty pictures of Madeline Albright for him. I blocked him on Instant Messenger, but somehow he found my phone number."
- Dave "Shmorky" Kelley
"God damn, I ain't never seen a man eat so many hot dogs in one sitting. And I've been a hot dog eating contest judge three times."
- Joseph "Maxnmona" Fink
