mallard fillmore watch

Mallard Fillmore Watch

05/23/2015

Well, if it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck...

Mallard Fillmore Watch

03/20/2015

03/13/2015

January 15, 2015

You know who the real victims are? You guessed it: white people.

Mallard Fillmore Watch

11/18/2014

Bruce Tinsley tried to pick a random, funny -teen number and ended up going with 14. Hmm...14 words... now where have I heard that before?

The Fourteen Words is a phrase used predominantly by white nationalists. It most commonly refers to a 14-word slogan: "We must secure the existence of our people and a future for White Children."^[1] It can also refer to another 14-word slogan: "Because the beauty of the White Aryan woman must not perish from the earth."^[2]

Don't let this happen to you! Always stick with 17 when you need a random, funny number!

Mallard Fillmore Watch

11/03/2014

In this searing indictment of the news media, a local reporter mistakes a young Orville Redenbaucher for a hipster

Mallard Fillmore Watch

08/19/2014

Do they give out Pulitzers for headlines? Because that's a shoo-in right there

Mallard Fillmore Watch

05/29/2014

Mallard Fillmore has been doing a week's worth of strips about hashtags, which is somehow lazier than the bumper stickers

Mallard Fillmore Watch

05/21/2014

Turn your newspaper around, you big doofus! Apparently there's a big story about it on the other side!

Mallard Fillmore Watch

05/17/2014

SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Exercising Your Constitutional Right To Participate in The Democratic Process And Determine Your Future Causes Lung Cancer, Heart Disease, And Emphysema. Voting By Pregnant Women May Result in Fetal Injury, Premature Birth, And Low Birth Weight.

Mallard Fillmore Watch

02/19/2014

It's always interesting to see which pundits Mallard Fillmore runs to the defense for. Today it's Dinesh D'Souza, colonial apologist and bin Laden fan, whose only crime was massive illegal campaign contributions making fun of Obama's ears, or something.

Oh good, Mallard Fillmore actually remembered Veteran's Day this year:

11/11/2013

Please keep in mind that within the strip Bruce Tinsley is a separate, distinct entity from Mallard Fillmore, so try not to think about the gross implications of Mallard Fillmore having a human father.

02/02/2013

• Here is a story about how sequestration is harming public schools in poor areas.
• Accusing your political opponents of wanting to kill the elderly is very uncivil and should be avoided.
• Here is a list of Republicans who voted to cut billions of dollars from the food stamps program.

01/17/2013

09/13/2013

Armed guards in schools: OK
Metal detectors in schools: NOT OK, WHAT IS THIS, SOME KIND OF A POLICE STATE????

02/01/2012

An ally linked me to this strip and theorized Bruce Tinsley has never actually encountered a Twinkie in person. He just knows that they come individually wrapped.

01/08/2013

Today's strip adds more kindle to that theory. He appears to have done a little research on what the box looks like. But's he's has placed the Twinkie at the very bottom of the strip so you can only see part of it. Does Tinsley know what a Twinkie looks like? Evidence inconclusive...

BONUS MALLARD FILLMORE WATCH: I submitted a thing to the great comics tumblelog A Good Cartoon. Who knew Mallard was so progressive?

10/24/2012

Right on, Mallard! We don't want any daytime tv viewers mucking things up for the rest of us! The gears of democracy are too sacred to be entrusted to people like th-

04/02/2010

11/23/2010

*record scratch*

(source: DailyINK)

This is Chantel, Mallard Fillmore's African-American co-worker and occasional love interest.

02/12/2012

03/22/2012

06/19/2012

Recently, she's been depicted as having gray skin. It's really weird and garish. I don't know how long it's been going on. It's happened more than once, so it must be intentional and not a flub on the part of the colorist. President Obama, who's literally the only other African-American person to appear in the strip this year, isn't depicted with gray skin. It's just her. The question is, why? Is it a Doug thing, where everybody's random colors to illustrate that race doesn't matter? If so, why does it only affect Chantel? Is her gray skin intended to be literal? Is her complexion being de-emphasized so readers won't think she's being used as a stand-in for all African-Americans? Why now, after 20 or so years? Is she now supposed to be "aracial," with her pigmentation figuratively depicted as neutral so readers can decide her ethnic background for themselves?

Something to consider: the black-and-white version of the strip doesn't use stippling to depict shades of gray like other comics do. There's no clear indication that Chantel is a person of color. Since every character aside from Mallard (whose feathers are usually solid black in non-Sunday strips) is literally white, their "true" skin color is theoretically ambiguous. Might Chantel's grayness be an attempt to preserve that sense of ambiguity in the transistion to color?

4/19/2012

This is just... I can't even... ... I can't decide which aspect is worst:

1. Mocking President Obama for offering his condolences to the parents of a murder victim
2. Suggesting Obama is only "siding" with Trayvon Martin because he's black
3. Linking the shooting to the Palestine/Israel conflict because it wasn't heated enough
4. That this inflammatory piece of race-baiting appears on the comics page just a couple rows down from Garfield eating lasagna and Dolly mispronouncing spaghetti

Gotta give Bruce Tinsley some credit, though... he can say a lot in very few words. (via)

November 18, 2011

Mallard Fillmore: Twilight fan. Who knew?

November 5, 2011

Hrm, yes, I agree, it is irresponsible for members of the media to caricature a mass populist movement based on the actions of a few outliers, and furthermore... *takes a big sip of Beverage*

November 2, 2011

*spits out Beverage in a continuous stream for 30 minutes*

May 16, 2011

Yeah, you know who's really upset about the birther issue going away? The guy who made it go away

May 17, 2011

racism is dead

there's no racism in america anymore

r.i.p. racism

May 21, 2011

Bruce Tinsley must've been really happy when he drew this strip, because it combines two of his favorite go-to themes: his childish "check out all these stupid e-mails I've been getting KEEP 'EM COMIN HATERS " internet troll routine, and his "boy, today's youth sure is stupid, am I right folks?" schtick.

Edit: Also, what the heck is a "memo-line?"

May 25, 2011

WHY ISN'T THE NAVY SEAL AN ACTUAL SEAL?!?

If you browse on over to Garfield.com, like I do every morning, today's strip is blocked by an apology by Jim Davis:

Dear Friends, Fans, and Veterans:

In what has to be the worst timing ever, the strip that runs in today's paper seems to be making a statement about Veteran's Day. It absolutely, positively has nothing to do with this important day of remembrance.

Regarding today's Garfield comic strip, it was written almost a year ago and I had no idea when writing it that it would appear today -- of all days. I do not use a calendar that lists holidays and other notable days, so when this strip was put in the queue, I had no idea it would run on Veteran's Day. What are the odds? You can bet I'll have a calendar that lists EVERYTHING by my side in the future.

My brother Dave served in Vietnam. My son James is a Marine who has had two tours of duty, both in Iraq and Afghanistan. You'd have to go a long way to find someone who was more proud and grateful for what our Veterans have done for all of us.

Please accept my sincere apologies for any offense today's Garfield may have created. It was unintentional and regrettable.

Jim Davis

Yes, you read that right: they have more than a year's worth of Garfield strips stockpiled somewhere.

Here's the unintentionally offensive strip in question:

Wow. Just wow. Now, ordinarily I'd accept Jim Davis's explanation - according to TV, men forget birthdays and anniversaries all the time, after all - but this isn't the first time this has happened. Here's a Mallard Fillmore strip from November 21, 2006:

Why do wisecracking anthropomorphic comic strip animals who share names with U.S. presidents hate our troops????

Sunday october 10th cartoon finally came together. I'm goosing the anti-Tea-Party snobs a month b 4 the big dance....

Now, Tinsley's been pushing the "Democrats are ignoring the Tea Party at their own peril / the media is misrepresenting the Tea Party" beat pretty hard. What fresh, new spin would he put on it this time? Let's check the archive...

Breast cancer?!? Where was the ownage? The goosing? The smug rebuke of liberal conventional wisdom? You've really let me down, Bruce...

@MallardFillmore Watch

Sunday october 10th cartoon finally came together. I'm goosing the anti-Tea-Party snobs a month b 4 the big dance....less than a minute ago via Twitter for AndroidBruce Tinsley
mallardfillmore

Mallard Fillmore Watch

Man, I freakin HATE signs... luckily we have M.Fillmore here to blow the lid off signgate...

"what's this??? the govt. is using my tax monie$$$ to make MAPS at natl. parks?!? and they're givin 'em away 4 FREE?!?!?"

Mallard Fillmore Watch

TOO SOON, MAN.

TOO SOON.

Mallard Fillmore: Now with 60% more victimized pre-emptive disclaimers!

I dislike Wal-Mart, but I dislike people who dislike Wal-Mart more.

You heard me, lefties. What are you going to do about it?

You know, if more than half of your comic strip is taken up by an explanation of the joke, you should really rethink your joke-telling skills

I think it's a testament to Bruce Tinsley's skill that in a sex scandal involving a Republican congressman and the subsequent cover-up by top Republican officials, he can still manage to wring out a Clinton joke.

OK, I know it must be difficult to find humor in the Mark Foley sex scandal in a way acceptable to the conservative sensibilities of G-rated family newspapers, but I'm feeling kind of grouchy today so I'm just going to nitpick.

• I know it's the setup to the punchline, but it's not just prominent Democrats doing the criticizing
• The Monica Lewinsky affair was between two consenting adults, not a pedophile and minors
• There's a weird emphasis on "still," as if everything should have been settled now and we should move onto more important topics (which, if last week's comics are any indication, include exposing the hypocrisy of fictional liberal strawman characters)
• Now having giving the Foley scandal lip service (hey, I'm up to date on current events! I'm relevant!), he can move back into his comfort zone and make more Clinton jokes (such as today's strip). I eagerly anticipate next week's story arc, in which intrepid reporter Mallard Fillmore exposes that the North Korea situation is somehow entirely the fault of an administration that's been out of office for almost six years
• Speaking of which, Mallard Fillmore must not be a very good reporter if all the news he reports is from 2-3 weeks ago
• Jesus Christ, just look at that caricature, man