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March 10, 2020

Mallard Fillmore Watch

new artist
3/09/2020

Mallard Fillmore has been in reruns since the start of the year (if not earlier) and as of yesterday there’s a replacement… er… substitute artist. That font looks atrocious, Mallard Fillmore should always be hand-lettered. I don’t know what’s going on but I sincerely hope Bruce Tinsley is able to return.

March 2, 2020

 chris matthewsWhenever I saw Chris Matthews he always seemed like an easily-flustered baby man who’d never been in front of a camera before, even though he’d been on TV for like 30 years. Good riddance!

February 17, 2020

SAN BERNARDINO IN FILM

  • Mister America
  • The Founder
  • Cars (mentioned)
  • Inland Empire (possibly, haven’t actually seen it)
February 5, 2020
The other day I came home and found my cat had tried to file a bug report by walking on the keyboard:

January 24, 2020
  • The New York Times endorsement thing was so goddamn funny. There’s like 40 minutes of the editorial board asking the candidates probing questions and then discussing their valid concerns and it’s all leading up to this punchline, where everybody writes down their top two choices and there were a whole lot of Bookers and Klobuchars in the mix. I laughed out loud. And then the kicker, they endorse two people! The only way it could get more Centrist Pundit Brained is if they encouraged people to write in John McCain.
  • This is not to say that their The Weekly show is bad. The episode about Eddie Gallagher is worth watching.
  • Anyway, once again I’ve added a gallery of pictures I made over the past year for 2019.
  • I’ve also updated my gallery of Pictures of Presidents Using Computers.
January 7, 2020

last zellers screenshot

Joker’s Revenge…

January 3, 2020

FILMS I WATCHED FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 2019


I made a goal of watching more movies because I felt a bit guilty watching so few movies the previous year. I started keeping track in a Word document and I figured I’d post it here because, hey, free content. The Criterion Channel has been a fantastic service, sign up if you can if you haven’t already.

01. Iron Man 2
02. Sorry To Bother You
03. FYRE FRAUD
04. I Confess
05. Downsizing
06. A Star is Born (1954)
07. His Girl Friday
08. Vice
09. Ghost in the Shell (1995)
10. Too Funny to Fail: The Life & Death of The Dana Carvey Show
11. Role Models
12. Black Mirror: Bandersnatch
13. Batman Returns
14. Eighth Grade
15. Mikey and Nicky
16. Shazam!
17. The Kid
18. Knock Down the House
19. Safety Last!
20. Persona
21. Mulholland Dr.
22. Detective Pikachu
23. Paths of Glory
24. The Red Balloon (short)
25. White Mane (short)
26. A Fistful of Dollars
27. The Thief of Bagdad
28. For A Few Dollars More
29. Gaslight
30. The Founder
31. Watership Down
32. Isle of Dogs
33. Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion
34. Where Is the Friend’s House?
35. Marwencol
36. The Man Who Fell To Earth
37. Time Bandits
38. Girlfriends
39. The African Queen
40. Solar Walk (short)
41. For All Mankind
42. Mother (1996)
43. Bottle Rocket
44. The Manchurian Candidate (1962)
45. Speed Racer
46. Rocko’s Modern Life: Static Cling
47. My Best Fiend
48. True Stories
49. Police Story
50. Police Story 2
51. JFK
52. Harlan County USA
53. Invader Zim: Enter The Florpus
54. Stalag 17
55. Escape From New York
56. The Wrong Man (1956)
57. Eyes Wide Shut
58. A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum
59. Mobius (short)
60. Aelita: Queen of Mars
61. The Adventures of Prince Achmed
62. House
63. Begone Dull Care (short)
64. The Burden (short)
65. Coda (short)
66. A Chairy Tale (short)
67. Weekends (short)
68. El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie
69. H.O.T.S.
70. The Blob (1956)
71. Woyzeck
72. The Gates of Heaven
73. Fantastic Planet
74. Cobra Verde
75. Nosferatu the Vampyre
76. Kes
77. Le samouraï
78. The Land That Time Forgot (MST3K)
79. Time After Time
80. 12 Angry Men
81. Meet Me in St. Louis
82. F for Fake
83. Tron
84. Diamantino
85. Superman
86. Avengers: Endgame
87. Taxi Driver
88. Terms of Endearment
89. Frozen 2
90. Little Monsters
91. My Night At Maud’s
92. Miracle on 34th Street
93. The Italian Job (1969)
94. The Phantom Carriage

December 31, 2019

Felt weird having my last post of the year be about war crimes so here is my favorite gif from the past decade, by crunkus on dump.fm. May it bring you joy.

December 30, 2019

Pardoned war criminal Eddie Gallagher and his wife have an Instagram and a merch store

November 14, 2019

DISNEY+ THOUGHTS

  • It has a nice understated layout that is far superior to Netflix because it doesn’t autoplay a trailer every time you try to navigate a menu.
  • Don’t care about the Han and Greedo scene. What’s more egregrious to me is the scene that occurs shortly after where Han has essentially the same conversation with Jabba and steps on his tail in a rather Poochie-like manner.
  • The Mandolorian was good. The whole thing about how Mandalorians are based around Boba Fett’s design but the Fetts weren’t actually Mandalorian reminds of how Donkey Kong isn’t actually the Donkey Kong from Donkey Kong, it’s his grandson or whatever. Just needlessly weird lore.
  • Most of the complaints I’ve seen are about The Simpsons being presented in the wrong aspect ratio which could’ve been easily prevented had the people in charge remembered the same thing happening five years ago when FXX launched Simpsons World. Nobody learns anything!


November 10, 2019
Very sorry about this

November 4, 2019

Fox press release:

In a special Thanksgiving edition of “Treehouse of Horror,” the Simpsons are forced to face various Thanksgiving nightmares, including the first Thanksgiving, an A.I. mishap and a dangerous space mission complicated by a sentient cranberry sauce in the all-new “Thanksgiving of Horror” episode of THE SIMPSONS airing Sunday, Nov. 24 (8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT) on FOX. (SI-3017) (TV-14 L, V)

Once again, one of my joke Simpsons episodes hath become reality

October 26, 2019
yang, buttigieg, biden

Andrew Yang: Made fun of Bing in the last debate

America’s Mayor Pete Buttigieg: Pretended not to know who Alfred E. Neuman is

Joe Biden: Says he’s “not a big funny paper guy”

These goobers are working overtime to lose my vote!

mood: feisty
music: jake kaufman – dance through the danger

October 18, 2019


3rd Rock From the Sun by Dragon-Wing-Z

This is the only fanart I could find of what the aliens from 3rd Rock From The Sun would look like in their true form. I thought there’d be more. The internet has let me down.

October 13, 2019

the stupids cat xylophone

One small thing I appreciate about The Stupids (1996) is that they decided to make the Stupids’ cat and dog CGI characters that look like the ones from the original picture books and it’s never remarked upon or anything, it’s just considered normal in that world

October 2, 2019
spongebob masterpiece meme toy

The acknowledgment on behalf of Nickelodeon that kids today primarily engage with SpongeBob through memes on social media rather than TV is interesting. How long until Disney/Simpsons catches on and starts making “Steamed Hams” and “Lisa standing in front of words” playsets

September 30, 2019

Update on my quest to learn more about the forgotten 1990s Wienerschnitzel mascots… I am now the proud owner of a “Roseanne Iguana Wanna” coin purse. Some reasons she appeals to me: the simplicity of her design, her giant, vacant, Simpsons-like eyes, her pointy teeth, the way the curve on the end of her smile makes it look like she’s under a lot of mental stress, the fact she’s a reptile which I associate with the 80s/90s for some inexplicble reason, and just the general weirdness of “what does an iguana have to do with hot dogs or fast food.” I hope to use this to become the world’s only and therefore best producer of 90s Wienerschnitzel mascot fan art.