September 1, 2020
I was looking at the Big Dog shirt website and discovered they’re trying to be like da share z0ne now A small emoticon of Stanley from The Office looking displeased

A picture of a Big Dog shirt involving the internetA picture of a Big Dog shirt about the sun exploding

August 28, 2020

A picture of Rex from Star Tours

The Starspeeder weaves its way through the comet and escapes by crashing through one of the walls. Upon escaping the comet, however, the ship encounters a Star Destroyer of the Imperial Remnant.

The Starspeeder gets caught in its tractor beam, but manages to get loose when a New Republic X-wing fighter provided assistance by destroying the tractor beam’s generator. Soon the Starspeeder accompanies the Republic fleet on an assault on the Death Star III (later revealed by Leland Chee in 2013 to be a Habitation Sphere disguised as a Death Star in a plot by an Imperial Warlord to distract the New Republic). Rex uses the Starspeeder’s lasers to eliminate several TIE fighters while a Republic pilot destroys the Death Star in the same manner as Luke Skywalker by firing two proton torpedoes into the exhaust port.

Everything I thought I knew about Star Tours has been a goddamned lie

August 18, 2020
A photo of The Stupids film novelization

I remember feeling very distraught when I saw this at the bookstore because I thought the movie had already come out and I’d missed it (it hadn’t)

August 11, 2020

August 4, 2020
Remembering the time a data error caused Yahoo! Finance to drop every stock price to $0

A screenshot of smartphone notifications from Yahoo! Finance

July 11, 2020

One of my favorite internet things is when some anodyne blog or feed or whatever suddenly gets Political, like when the maintainer of a simpsons screencap tumblr abruptly quit with a rant about how he’s sick of all the anti-Russia hate

Here’s a thing I came across on Flickr with the description “The excuse for violence at the hands of primitive Tribalists and Marxists.” Which is funny by itself but funnier when juxtaposed with the rest of his feed which is mostly “person drawn in simpsons style” and lego star wars generic dork stuff:

Really makes you think (disclaimer in case it’s ironic: ha ha I got the irony I was just being triple ironic)

July 8, 2020

Late night at the offices

June 20, 2020
Happy 17th anniversary to… here’s a look at where the magic happens:

June 15, 2020
the dark side is sort of annoying

Highly appreciate the length of this Wookieepedia article describing an episode of a game show

May 29, 2020

Saddened to learn about the death of Morgan Vogel. She made a lot of cool, crazy, outsidery stuff in the early 2000s under the pseudonym TACO THE WONDER DOG that was formative to me: Crunchy Savior, YOU ARE A CHEF!!!!!! (THE MOVIE), True Meaning of Life, SONG FOR THE STUPID RAVER SHITHEAD WHO LIVES UNDERNEATH ME AND ALWAYS PLAYS HIS SHITTY MUSIC REALLY LOUD AND MAKES MY FLOOR VIBRATE AND AT ONE POINT HE LEFT HIS ROOM BUT LEFT THE STEREO ON AND IT SKIPPED AND I HAD TO LISTEN TO IT FOR FOUR FUCKING HOURS. Then she seemingly vanished for about ten years, and resurfaced with some great YouTube videos. There was one about the death of Christopher Hitchens with the immortal phrase “What greater gift could I ask for, for solstice?” There was another amazing one about Google Glass. Then she seemingly disappeared again. She did a lot more stuff that I’m only just now learning about from people’s remembrances of her. RIP.

May 26, 2020
I’ve been organizing files and found a first draft for the Simpsons episode “Boy-Scoutz ‘n the Hood” featuring an Apu line that didn’t make it to the final episode:
boy-scoutz n the hood

Comedy writers in the 90’s just couldn’t resist making Oppenheimer jokes with slushee machine operators apparently

field of petefield of petefield of pete

May 16, 2020
fred willard

RIP Fred Willard. We looked at each other for three seconds and I completely blanked on his name at the opening of The Simpsons Ride.

May 4, 2020


Back in fall I rewatched all the Star Warses in anticipation of the new one, then I waited until February to see it, then I waited until now to post my thoughts. This is the order I rewatched them in, “Machete Order” with some modifications.

  1. Star Wars – It’s cool yet somewhat concerning how this scrappy looking little film just became this ur-text for pop culture for the next 40+ years. Last time I saw part of this on TV it was slightly annoying how every single line is like a famous quote now or inspired some later thing, but I didn’t feel that too much this time. The trench run is an amazing sequence.
  2. Rogue One – The whole time I kept thinking about how I should’ve watched this one first! Fuck!
  3. The Empire Strikes Back – I think this is sort of the ideal movie sequel?
  4. The Phantom Menace – Had not watched this since seeing it in the theater in 1999. It’s fine I guess? It’s not a good movie but I find it sorta fascinating. I also recently rewatched the Armin Tamzarian episode of The Simpsons, another widely-loathed piece of pop culture from that era and thought it was actually pretty good (I like the interpretation that it’s written like an episode of a sitcom where a character has to be hastily written out of the show because the actor didn’t renew their contract or whatever). With both things it’s like, I know the complaints, I made a few of them myself, I probably agree with a lot of them, but I’m so tired of it now, I don’t care anymore, time to move on. I appreciate that George Lucas made this movie that is aesthetically unlike everything the franchise had been up to that point, which I don’t think anyone can ever do again because not only do blockbuster auteurs not exist anymore but everything has to be so reverential now. Laughed a lot at the way he writes children (“uh, they say ‘Yippee!’ a lot, right?”).
  5. Attack of the Clones – When this came out I liked it so much I saw it in the theaters twice. The second time there was this middle aged guy who shouted “Yeah let’s go Yoda!!!” during the lightsaber fight. Upon rewatch I find it kinda boring although I think Hayden Christensen does a good job portraying “creepy boyfriend emitting red flags”
  6. Revenge of the Sith – Used to think this was the best of the prequels simply because stuff happens, now I’m not sure. It’s funny that Luke and Rey are presented with the equivalent of Adam Lanza’s AK-47 and it’s treated as this big reverential thing.
  7. Return of the Jedi – It’s weird that the trio of the new movies don’t actually all meet until the end of the second one but it’s less weird when you remember that Luke is separated from Han and Leia for much of the original trilogy and Obi-Wan is basically off on his own adventures during the prequels. It goes without saying but it’s so bizarre and goofy that Lucas decided to stick a bunch of badly-aged CGI into his old movies including a new dance number in this one. My headcanon is that Jabba’s sail barge is the Star Wars universe equivalent of Epstein’s jet plane.
  8. Solo – I liked the trailers for this but the movie is pretty disposable. Maybe it was too soon for a rewatch. What’s with this galaxy’s obsession with last names?
  9. The Force Awakens – I like the new characters, it’s a fun movie even if it’s derivative. Not sure how I’d feel now that I know how their stories end. Something I noticed is that the Lucas films have no flashbacks, in this one they get around this informal “rule” by encasing it in a force vision, and then in the next two they’re like “ah, it’s fine”
  10. The Last Jedi – Lots of humor, great visuals, fun characters, poignant at times. I liked that it did away with the Who Is Snoke (why can’t it just be some guy) and Who Are Rey’s Parents mysteries (ed. note I wrote part this a year ago). Seeing Leia use the force for the first time (onscreen at least) to save herself from the vacuum of space is a beautiful moment and seeing it mocked and memed by “uhhh, science much???” guys is annoying. I like the interpretation I read somewhere that the sequel trilogy is basically about millennials trying to find their way in the face of resurgent fascism after baby boomers and institutions failed them. My main gripe is that the “uh oh our space ship is out of gas!” plot kinda feels like something out of a filler episode of Rebels
  11. Rise of Skywalker – Boy who would’ve thought answering the “mysteries” would be unsatisfying. The dialogue was atrocious, everything with Carrie Fisher is so grotesque, the running gag of Finn’s message to Rey never gets paid off, and you can’t end on the twin suns when the last movie already did it, that’s illegal! I’ll give it this: “The dead speak!” is a wonderful way to start the crawl. I like when Star Wars gets pulpy, like the newsreel-type narrator in Clone Wars. Here’s hoping this won’t be the last movie I ever see in a theater
April 28, 2020

Confounding Google Images result. The article that it’s linked to is from 2017, has nothing to do with coronavirus, and the image lacks the inset. What the hell

April 21, 2020

Bruce Tinsley Watch

It’s been nearly two months since a substitute artist took over Mallard Fillmore and it’s still unclear what happened to Bruce Tinsley, but now there are some clues courtesy of comics curmudgeon Josh Frulinger. First, according to The Daily Cartoonist, the syndicate started rerunning strips in late November “due to unforeseen circumstances.” Secondly, the syndicate published – and then mysteriously removed – an interview with the substitute artist, which just says Tinsley’s “away.” Finally, earlier this month Tinsley made his first tweet in more than a year, a reply to Candace Owens.

For what it’s worth, I don’t think the new guy’s doing a bad job – he remembered that the supporting characters exist, which I appreciate, but it lacks the smugness, vitriol, and thinly-concealed bigotry of The Real Thing. Also, I still don’t like that font. Speaking of which…

new artist

…is Mallard going after me??

April 14, 2020

  • Updated the Links page, sad to see some old sites I used to visit have disappeared. One day it will just be the Link page and only have one link to the last surviving website,
  • I caved and got a Letterboxd account. Probably won’t post any reviews on there because I don’t like having opinions on things, I just like compiling lists of media I’ve consumed
  • You can find my other Official Canon social networks and more on this profile page I made for myself. Does anyone remember when was a thing


April 9, 2020

mr. block
Bernie dropping out of the race feels liberating. I don’t have to care about the election anymore. I can free up some space in my mind for other things. I shall pay no mind to the usual suspects already trotting out the old “blame the voter” routine they’ve been doing for the past 20 years. Sorry your “electable” candidate sucks ass but it’s not my problem, haha. I feel no obligation to vote for the party of austerity and means-testing that was sending voters out to their deaths. I can sit back and watch the debates – assuming there’ll be debates – without worrying about “my” candidate and just enjoy the grotesque spectacle of two senile dipshits squabbling about The Debt as the world continues to burn. A month ago, I felt an overwhelming sense of hopelessness and despair as I continued to work during the pandemic, but now I feel free.