January 30, 2007

For the past three or so months, I’ve been reading The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs, a blog purportedly written by narcissistic Apple CEO Steve Jobs. Whoever the man behind the Steve mask is, he’s the undisputed master of “in character” fake blogging. Just read this. Or this. Or this. Now word on the street is that Apple made some legal threats, so now the Steve impersonator is shutting down the site. Farewell, Fake Steve. We hardly knew ye.

January 27, 2007

Mallard Fillmore Watch

Mallard Fillmore: Now with 60% more victimized pre-emptive disclaimers!

January 23, 2007

Did anyone catch the state of the upn address?

They’re going to launch homeboys into outer space


January 19, 2007

OK so what’s the deal with the recent trend of celebrities speaking from beyond the grave? Art Buchwald died, which gave the New York Times the chance to unveil their “video obituary” project, featuring final interviews with notable people that will be posted when the interviewee dies, which Buchwald kicks off with “Hi, I’m Art Buchwald and I just died.”

Then Orville Redenbacher’s Gourmet Popping Corn resurrected Orville, who’s been dead since 1995, into a creepy CGI monstrosity to hawk popcorn and awkwardly chat about them newfangled m-p-3 players. But the creepiest thing is the first-person “about Orville” page:

Hello, I’m Orville Redenbacher. You might remember me from the popcorn commercials of the 1970s, 1980s, and early 1990s. Well, it’s been about 15 years, but now I’m back selling popcorn in some new and exciting TV commercials.

Yes it’s been about 15 years SINCE YOU DIED

All these dead guys are kinda giving me the heebie-jeebies

January 14, 2007

what up doggie

hey, uh

kinda busy at the moment

im calling you from my new iphone, its pretty neat

the fuck is an iphone?

its the hot new cell phone from apple computer

its got internet connectivity ipod functionality and the screen doubles as george forman grill

hey that does sound kinda neat

gotta go, batteries dyin


January 11, 2007
January 7, 2007 has been updated anew with the following changes

Everything’s coming up Milhouse!