May 29, 2008

As you probably know by now, Dunkin Donuts made some ad featuring popular TV chef Rachael Ray donning a black-and-white scarf that maybe sort of kinda looks like a keffiyeh that Palestinans sometimes wear. According to professional meathead Michelle Malkin, that keffiyeh has come to symbolize “murderous Palestinian jihad,” which means Ray and Dunkin Donuts are in league with the terrorists or something.

This, of course, is the same Dunkin Donuts which just last month was running a commercial catering to American xenophobia of anything remotely sounding “Fratalian.”

Originally I thought this was just another hilarious example of the weird, paranoiac culture war waged by conservatives on any cultural product perceived to have even the slightest liberal sympathies (see here), and I had a good laugh over it. Then Dunkin Donuts pulled the ad down, with Malkin remarking how “refreshing” it is “to see an American company show sensitivity to the concerns of Americans opposed to Islamic jihad and its apologists,” and I remembered that people like her have actual influence.

I, for one, was hoping Dunkin Donuts would stand by the commercial, forcing Malkin’s followers to form some sort of uber-patriotic, America-themed donut shop to combat liberal pastry bias in the same vein of such hilarious conservative ventures as W Ketchup, Conservapedia, and GodTube. Think about it: All the doughnuts would have red, white and blue frosting. There could be a jelly-filled donut called “The Bleeding Heart.” Instead of bearclaws they’d have eagleclaws. Instead of doughnut holes they’d have Freedom Balls. The interior would be filled with all kinds of Americana kitsch with flags everywhere and they’d play songs by Darryl Worley and Randy Travis non-stop. The only newspapers available would be the Washington Times and the New York Post. On the roof would be a giant inflatable Statue of Liberty holding up a sign announcing their new 9 doughnuts for $11 special and there’d be fireworks every night. The name? Ronnie’s Donuts, in honor of true American patriot Ronald Reagan.

It would be glorious.

May 27, 2008

There’s a movie coming out called The Babysitters about a 16-year old girl who turns her babysitting service into a call-girl ring.

I don’t know how they got ahold of my Baby-sitters Club fanfiction, but I swear to God I’m going to sue them for every last penny

May 26, 2008

Updates to Audio/Video Section

I threw some more midis I found into the MIDI Jamboree, including “Heroes,” “Baby Elephant Walk,” and “Theme from Clarissa Explains It All.”

I also added a YouTube video I shot of a 66-year old man being shot out of a cannon as a human sacrifice to a 40-foot-tall statue of Lord Krusty.

everybody dance!!!

May 24, 2008

THE LOST STRIP: I’ve been waiting for Mallard Fillmore cartoonist Bruce Tinsley to do a tribute strip to recently-deceased beloved conservative icon William F. Buckley, so I could do a straight-on parody replacing Buckley with also-recently-deceased beloved Dungeons & Dragons creator Gary Gygax (trs ironique!). It’s been about three months now, so I don’t think he’s ever going to do one. Oh, would could have been.

On a lighter note, here is a new Anthropomorphic Republican Talking Duck strip, albeit sadly Gygax-less.

May 23, 2008

monthly link dump


Robert Rauschenberg, American Artist, Dies at 82

Why can’t all obituaries be art history lessons?

New York Times Delegate Calculator and Count of Superdelegates

Neat-o toys for politicos

Jenny Holzer is an interesting artist who’s been around since like the ’80s condensing long works of text into easily digestible “soundbites.” I don’t know if this is actually done by her or just a dedicated admirer, but in either case this is the best use I’ve seen for micro-blogging/navel-gazing web tool Twitter.

Sit Down, Shut Up

An upcoming animated show staffed with a crew including the creator and three stars of Arrested Development, the producers of two of the best seasons of The Simpsons, and the guy who did The Off-Beats. I am pretty stoked


A fansite for The Office that I’ve been visiting a lot lately

Vice President Al Gore

An archive of Al Gore’s “Internet Home Page” from circa 1995.

May 18, 2008


May 11, 2008

I was watching these the other day and now I can’t get the Matlock theme out of my head

Please send help