August 30, 2011
marmaduke 8/27/2011

I’d watch the hell out of a dog talk show

HEY! Maybe the Beverly Hills Chihuahua can host! Then George Lopez can have a talk show again!!!

August 25, 2011


is the bin laden bot ready


dude quit asking, there’s like 20 wires I have to put into this thing


hang on getting another call


Hi Jack. It’s your estranged half-brother Jeff.


hello jeff


Listen, I intercepted some of your conversations. I know you’re building a robot implanted with bin Laden’s brain so you can defeat it and be the big hero again. Please, I urge you to reconsider.


it;s not fair you got 2 be the one to shoot osama


that was supposed to be my kill!!! i called dibs back in 01


It’s just how things turned out, what happened happened. Reanimating a dead terrorist mastermind so you can get back at me isn’t the right answer. You must channel your anger and jealousy into a more constructive outlet.


As it so happens, I’m organizing a little project that I could use your help with. A little freelance work, if you will. You can’t see it but I’m winking right now.


(also winking) i read u loud + clear


whos the target? gadaffi? kim jong-il? pelosi?


Our brother Edward. He is a disgrace to the Bauer name and must be destroyed. Will you join me?


i was so wrapped up in my hatred of you that i completely forgot how much i hate eddie!!!


im all in bro.


I’m glad to hear that, Jack. I’ll get my fratricide gear. We’ll be in touch.


bye!!!!! ttyl


jack I finished the robot but it went rogue and smashed through ctu and killed a bunch of people!!! now it’s heading for the 405!!! you gotta get down there asap!!!


August 23, 2011

I finally got some answers on some questions that have been bothering me for some time…

Well, since the McDonald’s Twitter Crew are the authorities on matters pertaining to McDonald’s, and are therefore the arbitrators of McDonald’s canon, we must defer to their judgments. But frankly I think that’s a lot of McBingsoo. Are you telling me that these…

… take place on the same planet as these…?

I don’t think so! McDonaldland is a cartoony realm whereas McWorld is essentially our reality with some major changes (namely, kids being able to control their world Twilight Zone-style). It just doesn’t make any logistical sense for them to share the same universe.

I think it’s better to assume there’s a different universe for each McDonald’s “reality.” For the sake of preserving an orderly canon, McDonald’s should take a page from DC Comics’s playbook and start classifying these universes. Let’s start by declaring the original McDonaldland commercials from the 1970s (where Grimace is a villian) comprises McWorld-One. Then, the modern McDonaldland ads would be McWorld-Two, the McWorld ads from the 1990s are McWorld-Prime, the video game is McWorld-3, the cartoons are McWorld-4, Mac Tonight would be McWorld-5, and the current McWorld would be McWorld-6. In addition, all the “realistic” commercials targeted to adults would have its own universe; at this point, I’m not sure whether to assign a different universe to each campaign (i.e. the “You deserve a break today” campaign and the current “I’m lovin’ it” campaign), so I’m just lumping them together until further notice.

See, doesn’t that make things a whole lot easier?

August 22, 2011

Listen, I know you’re a busy person. I know you’ve got things you gotta do, and you don’t have time to read the funny pages. You probably missed yesterday’s comics, didn’t you? Well luckily for you, I am here to fill you in on what you missed.

  • Billy from The Family Circus doesn’t like trying on clothes
  • Ziggy’s cat won’t poop in the catbox
  • Marmaduke got annoyed by a mouse
  • Fred Basset stared at his owner for five panels and then got a scrap of food
  • The Born Loser’s boss doesn’t think highly of The Born Loser
  • Sarge beat up Beetle Bailey to a pulp, then he made a meta-joke
  • Dagwood avoided chores
  • Garfield sat in a pool (I thought cats hated water???) and a mouse bounced off him
  • Dilbert won’t answer the phone
  • A blank-faced Nancy read a blank book
  • Linus ran to his house, found a large envelope, put his security blanket in it, addressed the envelope, put a stamp on it, ran to a mailbox, dropped it in, and then ran back to Charlie Brown, who I guess had just remained standing there the whole time
August 16, 2011
flickr pro warning


I knew there was a limit, I just thought it was further down the road. Flickr’s a great product and I’d like to support it (God knows Yahoo! needs a revenue stream), but it’s a luxury and I can’t justify spending money on it at this point in time. Maybe in the future though. Until then, it’s in hypersleep.

August 16, 2011

rope-a-dopeCan we get a moratorium on pundits saying “rope-a-dope?” I’m starting to get really sick of that phrase.

Last month, Lawrence O’Donnell insisted President Obama was playing 10th-dimensional chess with the Republicans on the debt ceiling negotiations:

What you are now witnessing is the most masterful rope-a-dope ever performed by a president against an opposition party in Congress.

And we all know how that turned out. Somehow I don’t think John Boehner, who says he got 98% of what he wanted, was the dope who got roped.

Dan Lyons, yesterday, on the Google-Motorola deal:

Google just sandbagged its rivals. The whole thing was a rope-a-dope maneuver. Google never cared about the Nortel patents. It just wanted to drive up the price so that AppleSoft (those happy new bedmates) would overpay. Today, with the Motorola deal, Google picks up nearly three times as many patents as AppleSoft got from Novell and Nortel.

Hear that? Google got THREE TIMES the patents! For only THREE TIMES the price! Plus the alienation of all the other Android partners!

I don’t know how things will work out in the future, but right now Obama and Google are looking more like Homer Simpson than Muhammed Ali.

August 14, 2011


Come play Pomme

It’s like Apples to Apples or Nutsy Bolts except with pictures & gifs

It’s so fun

August 11, 2011
Happy 20th anniversary, Doug

doug dance

*does the dougie*

August 11, 2011

I tried sitting through the recently-cancelled Lopez Tonight last night to pay my respects but I could only make it through three jokes

  1. Something about how Latino unemployment just got a little higher (HOW IS THIS EVEN A JOKE)
  2. “They just announced a new Smurfs movie… so I lost this job because I’m brown (wait what) but I’m getting a job because I’m blue” (???)
August 8, 2011
this my jam right here

Filled up another sketchbook dance

I lost count of how many sketchbooks I’ve had for quite a while… I’ve lost more than a couple over the years… I think this most recent one had to have been at least the twenty-second… I think?

Anyway I feel like I should post my doodles more often. Not sure where the best place is… here? Flickr? Facebook/Google+? Maybe cross-post them on multiple places? It’s weird that I have so many options nowadays

August 5, 2011

OK so for the first two years I used to update this site “by hand” without the benefit of a blogging platform, then I switched to Blogger, then I finally got around to adding all those original posts from the first two years into Blogger so they’d all be together, which was kind of annoying. Then Blogger dropped support for publishing via FTP, and I switched to using Movable Type and I figured I wouldn’t bother importing all the old posts from Blogger, partially because I didn’t feel the need to since they’re already here on my site and I figured it was best to leave them be and preserve the permalinks, but mostly because I couldn’t figure out how to.

But then last week I was thinking about it and how neat it would be to change the layout for all my posts on the fly and maybe add categories and stuff. I found this thing by Mike Duffy, and it worked perfectly and I didn’t have to do anything. Hooray!

The thing I can’t figure out is how to make Movable Type spit out a list of post titles (yes, these have titles! You can see ’em if you subscribe to the rss feed!) with links; since I do monthly archives instead of individual post pages, it’ll only give me links to the months. So unless some kind soul points me in the right direction I’ll have to manually re-linkify all the pre-2010 posts in the archive. Which I don’t really mind, I just want to be assured I’m not doing things the stupid way if there’s an easier way right there.

August 4, 2011


(rolling eyes)

Geez, if you hate him so much, why don’t you murder him?

August 1, 2011
office cat

Hello, are you perhaps a cat lover, a cubicle dweller, or perhaps even both? Well then take a gander at Office Cat, the first comic strip specifically targeted to both demographics.