January 26, 2015

Washington Post via msn:

Rand Paul will need to broaden his appeal far beyond his father’s hard-core supporters if he hopes to win the GOP nomination his father never could. But some members of that core said he was losing them by adopting policies closer to the GOP mainstream.

“He is the ‘Star Wars, Episode I,'” said Kent Ohler, 38, who records sound for TV and movies. He meant that the younger Paul was like the long-anticipated but largely disappointing sequel to the “Star Wars” movie franchise. “You have to like him to some degree, just because the name’s still stuck [on him]. But at the end of the day, he’s just not freakin’ right.”

Ohler and his younger brother Adam, sitting next to him, took the analogy further: Rand Paul’s endorsement of Republican Mitt Romney in the 2012 election was his “Jar Jar Binks” — comparing the Romney endorsement to the annoying alien that many “Star Wars” aficionados said made the “Phantom Menace” prequel irretrievably bad.

I’d say Rand Paul’s desire to dismantle the social safety net is his Dex’s Diner, his foreign policy is his General Grievous, and his toilet tirade is his Lumpy.

January 23, 2015
Thomas the Tank Engine The Island of Sodor puzzle

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the island of Sodor is only one letter off from Sodom

January 19, 2015
howard the duck is here!

Last year I was joking, er, predicting a big Howard the Duck reboot, which sorta happened, in a way. Comics blogger Mike Sterling called it “strangely prescient.” What can I say, I have my finger on the pulse of the pop culture zeitgeist. I would now like to use my newfound oracle powers for another bold prediction: Woozie Winks will make his long-awaited cinematic debut by 2025.

January 18, 2015
Mallard Fillmore Watch

mallard fillmore 1/15/2015
January 15, 2015

You know who the real victims are? You guessed it: white people.

January 16, 2015

Awful Link of the Day: Stretch Armstrong World

Stretch Armstrong World is the first and likely only fansite devoted exclusively to “the cornsyrup filled he man himself,” Stretch Armstrong. Hopefully you still have one of these rubbery action figures around somewhere, because the site reports “their value has remained more stable than Gold making them a truely [sic] great investment!” Once the economy is destroyed and the world descends into chaos, we’ll have to barter using “Fetch Armstrong dogs”, so it’s best you start your collection as soon as possible.

I had a Fetch Armstrong dog, which is apparently rare now? And if I’m understanding things right, the company got sued and had to stop selling superhero stretchies right as they were coming out with Plastic Man, which is a real shame.

January 11, 2015

I saw this stupid commercial at the movie theater and for a moment I actually thought it was a trailer for a live-action Gerald McBoingBoing movie

January 7, 2015

Today’s Awful Link of the Day (that felt weird to write) is about Key4hope, a site that makes cool predictions about the future, such as:

Robots are essentially computers with legs. And by 2049, robots will cook all our meals, clean our homes, teach us, drive us to wherever we want to go, and perform delicate surgery on us. Simply, within a half century, robots will touch nearly every facet of our lives.

My favorite prediction is that kids will be smarter because of holograms, and a cable channel about homework.

January 2, 2015

12 Ways to Avoid Uber and Still Get Home Safely on New Year's Eve

“Grampa, how did people survive before Uber?”
“I… I don’t remember…”