REVIEWS OF CHILDRENS SHOWS, PART XXVI
The new (well, new to me anyway) Tom & Jerry show looks like an Erin Esurance commercial. Tom can only “talk” in soundclips from the 1940s and it sounds like a crummy wav file of someone’s answering machine. Just hire a new guy to scream, geez
Mallard Fillmore Watch
Well, if it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck…
Once you become a vampire, you’ll find that it comes with its own set of challenges. For instance, there’s the whole issue of acquiring blood. Contrary to offensive outdated stereotypes, today’s vampires don’t kill people for blood; rather, they find an “emo” cutter and ask them for permission, or stock up on beef jerky.
Moms love RSS feeds, right?
EXT. DISNEY HEADQUARTERS – DAY
BRAD BIRD stands meekly in front of a desk, clutching a notebook in his hand. Behind the desk, a gruff CORPORATE EXECUTIVE puffs away on a cigar. His face is partially obscured by shadow.
Collectible pin sales are down 16% this quarter. I need you to make a movie with no less than three scenes centered around pins.
(jotting this down)
Yes sir, right away sir.
TWO YEARS LATER: