rubbercat.net

April 24, 2009



yeah so now im evil again or w/e



gosh dang it not again!!! grrr



WHAT IS YR INVOLVEMENT



weve infiltrated the white house



we’re releasing the torture memos… all of them…



noooo…. nooooooo……



dont worry ur still my bro. ill black out yr name and make sure u dont get prosectued. we still cool?



🙂

1:10:57
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1:11:00

February 24, 2009



yo dog i got a new plotline. u in?



shh theyre about to announce the winner of the best dead joker award



dog we got like 15 more episodes to do, lets go



cesar romero??? this is fucking bullshit

12:57:57
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January 24, 2009


hey david sorry to bug you and everything but i need another presidential pardon or whatever


this terrorist dude says hes gonna wreck some shit up and this other guy wont talk til he gets immunity


hella lame i know but what can you do


why do you keep calling me david?

12:21:57
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October 24, 2008



here are those torture authorizations you requested

11:58:57
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11:59:00

September 24, 2008



ive managed to infiltrate the republican party at the highest levels



operation: pitbull is a go 😀



excellent work yuliya



wait hang on a second are you using a secure frequency



im using yahoo messenger via wi-fi



god damn it

3:41:57
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August 24, 2008



we’re getting a text message from the obama campaign



patch it through



hey this is joe biden



aw fuck



just wanted to let you know torture is illegal and im gonna be all over your ass if i find you torturin' when im vp



txt u l8r qt 😉

3:26:57
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3:27:00

March 27, 2008



obama ain’t got shit on me



oh shut up



homeboy gives a good speech



but can he lead the nation through infinite crises… yeah thats what i thought



you ain’t done shit neither dogg



you just ring me up and go “yo jack kill these suckas”



hang on im getting another 3 am phone call

2:59:57
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3:00:00

January 17, 2008



hey guy…. notice anything diffrent about me



uhhh



ya thats rite…..i grew a strike solidarity beard



surely this will stem the tide of the writers strike



or whatev



i dont think thats how this works

10:09:57
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January 8, 2008



dog i thought you was dead



yeah well obviously i aint now am i



you better have a good explanation for this



well uh



the writers forgot to write one before they went on strike



~

9:20:57
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September 21, 2007



sup



nm u



hey remeber that one time 2 yrs ago when i died



yah lol



lol~



brb



k

9:17:57
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June 23, 2007



attention everybody



jack bauer has gone rogue



again? *yawns*



dont worry im coming to save you derek



my name is josh



yeah whatever

8:44:57
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March 22, 2007



ummmmm



little help here/???

8:31:57
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January 14, 2007



what up doggie



hey, uh



kinda busy at the moment



im calling you from my new iphone, its pretty neat



the fuck is an iphone?



its the hot new cell phone from apple computer



its got internet connectivity ipod functionality and the screen doubles as george forman grill



hey that does sound kinda neat



gotta go, batteries dyin

8:23:57
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8:24:00

October 4, 2006



why didn’t you do more to put habib marwan and turkish crimson jihad out of business when you were president



OK, let’s just go through that.



do you think you did enough, sir?



No, because I didn’t get him.



right



But at least I tried. That’s the difference in me and some, including all the right-wingers who are attacking me now. They ridiculed me for trying. They had eighteen months to try. They did not try. I tried.

So I tried and failed. When I failed, I left a comprehensive anti-terror strategy and the best counter-terrorist agency in the country.



mr. president thank you for one of the more unusual interviews



Fuck off.

7:59:57
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September 13, 2006



good news man it turns out your wife isnt dead after all



really???



nah just messin wit ya 😛



imma bop u so hard ur head explode

7:31:57
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May 19, 2006


*~hey dude~*


‘lo.


so… uh…


how is being dead


…..


you just have no tact, do you?

7:13:57
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March 30, 2006


sop baby~


WTF


GHOST DAD


oOoOOOOOooooOOOOooooOOOooooo


aaaaaaaaaaaa


j/k ive been alive 4 the past year 😛


0_0

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