humble proposals for simpsons-related political labels
You know the score - soccer moms, NASCAR dads, Reagan Demographics. The punditocracy just to generalize and label broad swaths of the electorate, even entire states (that whole red state, blue state nonsense). As long as there's going to be labels, they should at least be entertaining. If "South Park Republican" can catch on, then surely there's room for Simpsons labels.
- Helen Lovejoy Democrat
- Oh won't somebody PLEASE think of the CHILDREN
- Examples: Hillary Clinton, Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-CT)
- Marge Simpson Nanny-Stater
- Marge wanted to close down the boudoir, ban all sugar in Springfield, and take out all the violence in Itchy & Scratchy. What's her problem, man?!
- Bart Simpson Republican
- "I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, you can't prove anything."
- Richard Nixon, Former Senator Tom DeLay (R-TX)
- Smithers Republican
- Willing to go along with the Republican party line until it crosses an ethical line (like stealing candy from a baby) or "conflict[s] with [their] choice of lifestyle."
- Andrew Sullivan, Mary Cheney, Log Cabin Republicans
- Grampa Simpson Demographic
- I'm old, gimme gimme gimme!
- Quimby Democrat
- Corrupt, womanizing and/or otherwise unethical, but keeps getting re-elected.
- Bill Clinton, Ted Kennedy, Rep. Charlie Rangel (D-NY)
- McBain Republican
- "How do you sleep at night?" "With supermodels on top of big piles of money."
- Former Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger (R-CA)... that's pretty much it
- Flanders Conservative
- Genuinely nice and folksy but has some nutty beliefs deep down.
- Former Gov. Mike Huckabee (R-AL)
- Cletus Demographic
- Hey ma, the gays are gettin' married!
- Gabbo Candidate
- Any candidate surrounded by a thick cloud of hype. GABBO IS COMING
- Barack Obama, Rick Perry
- Comic Book Guy Liberal
- They complain incessently about a show or party, but there's pretty no chance they're stop watching that show or voting for that party. "Rest assured I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust with the rest of the world."
- The left-wing blogosphere
- Crazy Cat Lady Republican
- *incoherent ranting* *throws cat*
- Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, Glenn Beck
- Scratchy Demographic
- Keeps voting against their own interests. That mouse is not your friend!
- The One-Armed Guy Neo-Conservative
- Remember that guy? How he helped orchestrate a giant war to take out Nelson Muntz? Did he really give a shit about Nelson and the general well-fare of Springfield's children, or did he just want a war? Most definitely the latter.
- Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld
Related: Midterm Election Winners & Losers, and Their Simpsons Counterparts