Jokes To Say When A Celebrity Dies

Ever notice that whenever a beloved celebrity dies, every amateur comedian who thinks they're just hilarious has some witty one-liner to say? Well now you can beat them to the punch with these ready-made puns and jokes to roll out with when one of these still-currently-alive celebrities decides to kick the bucket!

Michael J. Fox
Where he's going.... he won't need roads

Lindsay Lohan
ROFL wouldn't it suck if she went to heaven and there was a sign that said "heaven: fully loaded"

Bob Dylan
His state of existence, it is a-changin!

George Lucas

David Byrne
He's going to a bar (the bar is called heaven)

Patrick Stewart and/or William Shatner
I guess hes boldy going... to the final frontier

Hillary Clinton
Maybe she should change her name to HELLery Clinton (because that is where she is going [hell])

Jaleeh White
Hehe I bet his last words were "did I do that"

Ron Michaelson
Looks like he lost his final loan to Ditech

Kiefer Sutherland

The Kid Who Plays Harry Potter
Now instead of playing The Boy Who Lived... you can call him *holds back snicker*... I mean, now he's playing... *snicker*... The Boy Who Died *guffaw*

Roy Scheider
We're going to need a bigger coffin!

Dustin Hoffman
Hey, I'm dyin'  here!

Tom Hanks
"Hanks" for the memories... get it???

Joss Whedon
Let's sign a petition to bring him back!

Kathy Griffin
Well she's definitely on the "D-List" now... the "Dead"
list that is

M. Night Shymalan
What a shocking twist ending!

Danny Elfman
It's a dead man's party...

Phil Hellmuth and/or Any Other Professional Poker Player
Looks like he cashed in his chips....

The Guy From "Jerry Macguire," I Can't Remember His Name
He had me at "goodbye"

Francis Black
Some sort of pun involving the song "Dead"